Editors Foreword

Welcome Sports fans, to the first edition of MEAT! Magazine. For those of you who haven't heard of us, we are a publication dedicated to bringing you the latest Blood Bowl news, gossip, and the inside information on the Blood & Snot league.

We'd like to thank the owner of MEAT! Magazine, the exalted Count Ruprecht von Murdoch; who kindly chained us to our desks in almost complete darkness to work on this publication. All hail our lord and master!

Read on Sports fans.....and be amazed!

The Regular Season Kicks Off

The League Commissioner has stated that he is very happy with the state of the League overall. As a newly formed league the Team retention has been high and the number of expansion Teams has surprised even the Commisioner.

During an Interview he was quoted s saying:

“I know we cut it short... but the new season will be great,” and

“We went through the mill, but hey that’s blood bowl  ... We’ve lost some great coaches, recruited better ones ... and some of the coaches who decided we weren’t for them have moved on... good luck to them”

The rumour mill has it that there has been an increasing spread of Nurglerot amongst those Coaches’ and Teams that are no longer under the Blood & Snot umbrella. Coincidence or malice? You decide.

There are plenty of new Rivalries already taking shape and old ones that are opening old wounds.

This Season is looking to be a fantastic orgy of violence, intrigue and of course Blood Bowl.

Scry Sports

For those of you who don’t know, Count Ruprecht von Murdoch is broadcasting Blood & Snot games LIVE via Scry Sports.


How it works: Simply take the Scry Sports crystal ball and point the anntenEYE at the pitch. This image is captured and then sent up to the Skaven-run Scatter-Light, which, like the name suggests, scatters the image all over the realm. You can capture this light in your very own Scry Sports crystal ball at home, for your viewing pleasure! You can get so close to the action, you can almost smell the Orcs!

While you’re enjoying all the wholesome treats that only a game of Blood bowl can offer, spare a thought for those poor rats working up there so high above us - they only went up there because they thought the moon was made of cheese!

Grudges Arise

The newly formed Division5 Blood and Sweat kicked off and caused quite a stir. It appears that the Long Jetty Prawners crowd became an influencing factor as just prior to kick off a large unidentified flying object caused the death of Rookie Saurus Mohrngred. The Saurus didn’t see the genetically modified prawn until it was too late! But at least the Autopsy revealed that the Saurus didn’t feel too much and certainly didn’t suffer.

This has caused the Unimaginable Scales Coach Ruiner to become enraged. Even during our scrounging for Potions and bribes we could hear him scream Keeeeel them! Keeeeel them aaaaaaawwwllllll!"

It’s a disgrace that our hard earned Entry Fee and concessions go to paying these Estrogen laden meatheads! But at least they give us something to watch on Scry Sports primetime every day every hour!

 

Coach Review

 

HirnKhan (aka “Coward Coach” after the catacombs incident) – Division3 Coach
Division 5 Administrator
Team – Rats with Attitude
Current Record – 0-0-1

After his contract was abruptly brought to a close with the Bloody Horns of Khorne he has now signed a Coaching contract with the Rats with Attitude. No one is quite sure where they came from, but judging by the barrels of Orca Cola Mix, we assume that they have been drugged by the Coward Coach. We will be looking into this further and provide details to you our public as they arise – or we place the evidence and report it to you.

Snotty Goblins at it Again

 

Today we feature a notorious player of the Snot Gobblers. Cheekalob, their Chainsaw wielding Mazmurderoir

M!M: Hello Cheekalob, how have you been settling into he Season so far?

C: "So peepul wunt to see me dead huh ... or even wurserer !"

M!M: No need to shout no Cheekalob-

C: I Af told dem ova n ova dat dis iz just a tooof picka !! mi teefs are always avin stuff stuck between dem

M!M: Goodness Cheekalob, no need to get so close, I’m a Journalist and completely neutral. Erm… watch where your pointing the Chainsaw please.

C: Naa listen tell all dem other playurs dat if they want to try killz me up , dey can ! But first off dey have to get past de trollz ! And then I have me sekret wepun !

MEAT! Magazine apologizes for the short interview; it was at this Point that Scabor’s Journalist passed out. We haven’t heard much from him since. Please return him if found.

 

 

Bounty Bars

It seems some players have been attracting a lot of attention recently..... so much so, they've got a price on their head! Needless to say, these players ought to be careful on the field..... or some of their own team mates might collect on the bounty!

11th Legion, let us talk Initiative.

In its best and easiest principles:
You win Init - You attack
You loose Init - You retreat


In your Battle Plan you will have found a good piece of the Terrain that suits your Lance and Playstyle better than that expected of your opponent.

A part of this terrain will be defensive in nature and will allow you to fall back to it.

For example a small thicket of Heavy and Light woods, or Partial cover. Or a section covered with water and/or swamp to slow the enemy.


As your winning initiative, you want to be pressing the opponent into moving into areas that are beneficial to you and of a detriment to them.

For example if you have a Jump based lance, forcing your enemy into hilly terrain will be a bonus for you. The enemy is slower than you and the BTH mods are in your favour.

If you are loosing Initiative you should be within range to retreat to your Defensive position.

This should provide you ideally with a longer Range Bracket to the enemies Main Guns.

It should also be a position where you can add at the very least a defensive mod of +3. Offensive mods are not of paramount importance here. The Idea is to protect yourself and prepare for the next round.

Something to note about loosing Initiative.

If your moving first you can make several attempts to Press the enemy.

You can block the enemy. You move first, is there a unit that you can move into a Position that is going to cause the enemy problems. Perhaps you have a mech that is surrounded by Lv-1 ice and has only one hex to escape. If your there, then theres a 1 in 6 chance the mech breaks the ice as the try to move away from you.

Blocking is not easy, it is very complicated Chess. But can definately be worthwhile and save a mech from certain death.

You can bait an enemy. This also takes some refining to time and execute.

Essentially you set a unit in a place that appears ok to the Enemy from your Point of View.

That means that you have placed it in a natural path of movement. Whether that be the natural path of your advance or at a middle point of travelling between two points of interest on the Battlefield.


This Bait unit, must be able to be reached by the Enemy to a degree. It must also be able to be covered by the Lancemates.

This is a risky move to make, it will most likely cause the Bait mech to take a lot of damage. However, it can mean that the enemy makes a rash move out and the sacrifice can be worth it.

This Baiting is best practiced on Newer Players that are identified as New Players by Vets. As baiting can be very difficult to master and when done incorrectly can cause the loss of a mech and no balancing benefit to you.

This is a ploy often used by Vets. I had seen this done many times and fell for it many times when I was new. Even Vets still fall for it. But when playing a Vet, be carefull of "Easy Opportunities", they often are not as easy as they seem.

If your outnumbering the enemy you can attempt to cause some Chaos by moving your mechs into better covering postions. It is important to keep your mechs in such a facing that they can concentrate fire in the most possible directions.

During early stages of Battle you could even rush past the enemy. This would cause them to be forced to turn and move less. This can lead to a Positive mod balance in your favour.

You need to push past the line of the enemy advance and seek cover. Be aware though that this relies on the enemy not having Jumpers.

If you have jumpers you can even change your facing at the end of movement. Giving you much better movement possibilities next round.


It is important, especially when loosing initiative to be carefull with your movement points. For example:

You can move 8 hexes in a straight line to run away, or you could run 7 hexes and turn to save a Point of movement for next round.

What is the difference? Well, moving 7 and 8 hexes is the same movement mod, but turning 1 hex side saves you an MP for next round. This means you can move another 7 and turn again.

The result is maximum movement mods and least amount of MPs.

This has a double meaning when Jumping. Because Heat is also effecting the Usefullness of your mech. Jumping an extra hex is an extra point of Heat. Make sure you have the Heatsinks or the Defencive BTH mod to warrant that.