Editors Foreword

Welcome Sports fans, to the first edition of MEAT! Magazine. For those of you who haven't heard of us, we are a publication dedicated to bringing you the latest Blood Bowl news, gossip, and the inside information on the Blood & Snot league.

We'd like to thank the owner of MEAT! Magazine, the exalted Count Ruprecht von Murdoch; who kindly chained us to our desks in almost complete darkness to work on this publication. All hail our lord and master!

Read on Sports fans.....and be amazed!

The Regular Season Kicks Off

The League Commissioner has stated that he is very happy with the state of the League overall. As a newly formed league the Team retention has been high and the number of expansion Teams has surprised even the Commisioner.

During an Interview he was quoted s saying:

“I know we cut it short... but the new season will be great,” and

“We went through the mill, but hey that’s blood bowl  ... We’ve lost some great coaches, recruited better ones ... and some of the coaches who decided we weren’t for them have moved on... good luck to them”

The rumour mill has it that there has been an increasing spread of Nurglerot amongst those Coaches’ and Teams that are no longer under the Blood & Snot umbrella. Coincidence or malice? You decide.

There are plenty of new Rivalries already taking shape and old ones that are opening old wounds.

This Season is looking to be a fantastic orgy of violence, intrigue and of course Blood Bowl.

Scry Sports

For those of you who don’t know, Count Ruprecht von Murdoch is broadcasting Blood & Snot games LIVE via Scry Sports.


How it works: Simply take the Scry Sports crystal ball and point the anntenEYE at the pitch. This image is captured and then sent up to the Skaven-run Scatter-Light, which, like the name suggests, scatters the image all over the realm. You can capture this light in your very own Scry Sports crystal ball at home, for your viewing pleasure! You can get so close to the action, you can almost smell the Orcs!

While you’re enjoying all the wholesome treats that only a game of Blood bowl can offer, spare a thought for those poor rats working up there so high above us - they only went up there because they thought the moon was made of cheese!

Grudges Arise

The newly formed Division5 Blood and Sweat kicked off and caused quite a stir. It appears that the Long Jetty Prawners crowd became an influencing factor as just prior to kick off a large unidentified flying object caused the death of Rookie Saurus Mohrngred. The Saurus didn’t see the genetically modified prawn until it was too late! But at least the Autopsy revealed that the Saurus didn’t feel too much and certainly didn’t suffer.

This has caused the Unimaginable Scales Coach Ruiner to become enraged. Even during our scrounging for Potions and bribes we could hear him scream Keeeeel them! Keeeeel them aaaaaaawwwllllll!"

It’s a disgrace that our hard earned Entry Fee and concessions go to paying these Estrogen laden meatheads! But at least they give us something to watch on Scry Sports primetime every day every hour!

 

Coach Review

 

HirnKhan (aka “Coward Coach” after the catacombs incident) – Division3 Coach
Division 5 Administrator
Team – Rats with Attitude
Current Record – 0-0-1

After his contract was abruptly brought to a close with the Bloody Horns of Khorne he has now signed a Coaching contract with the Rats with Attitude. No one is quite sure where they came from, but judging by the barrels of Orca Cola Mix, we assume that they have been drugged by the Coward Coach. We will be looking into this further and provide details to you our public as they arise – or we place the evidence and report it to you.

Snotty Goblins at it Again

 

Today we feature a notorious player of the Snot Gobblers. Cheekalob, their Chainsaw wielding Mazmurderoir

M!M: Hello Cheekalob, how have you been settling into he Season so far?

C: "So peepul wunt to see me dead huh ... or even wurserer !"

M!M: No need to shout no Cheekalob-

C: I Af told dem ova n ova dat dis iz just a tooof picka !! mi teefs are always avin stuff stuck between dem

M!M: Goodness Cheekalob, no need to get so close, I’m a Journalist and completely neutral. Erm… watch where your pointing the Chainsaw please.

C: Naa listen tell all dem other playurs dat if they want to try killz me up , dey can ! But first off dey have to get past de trollz ! And then I have me sekret wepun !

MEAT! Magazine apologizes for the short interview; it was at this Point that Scabor’s Journalist passed out. We haven’t heard much from him since. Please return him if found.

 

 

Bounty Bars

It seems some players have been attracting a lot of attention recently..... so much so, they've got a price on their head! Needless to say, these players ought to be careful on the field..... or some of their own team mates might collect on the bounty!